I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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