He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
