I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
