We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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