Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize