Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
