its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
