my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
