I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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