How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
