Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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