I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This is my gift to your gina
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
