If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish i was in the wii world.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
