You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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