I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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