loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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