Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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