Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
