At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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