I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
