The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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