Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
