he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
