This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
