she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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