Having a random hookup so left but love u
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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