fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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