ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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