Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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