Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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