I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
