Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
