haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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