I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
