I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
