I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
