did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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