'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
