We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she peed on how many people?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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