Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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