Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My vagina just clenched in fear
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