So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
