last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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