when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
