I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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