Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
