if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
