i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
soo... how was my night?
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