I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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