A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
