How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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