I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
