hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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