So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
