Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
MIDGETS
????
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
