I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
