Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
