she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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