I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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