I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
