Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
