Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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