I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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