He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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