my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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