Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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