yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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