Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
