I am puke
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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