Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
