You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
